Where's Mommy?

From the moment Kiyah was born, I was OBSESSED with taking pictures of her.  I mean for the first month of her life I don't think we left the house, but I always got her dressed just so that I could take pictures.  

Since then, the only thing that has changed is that if we aren't leaving the house, I don't get her dressed..I just snap pictures in whatever jammies she has on.  

The other day we were looking through pictures on my laptop, mostly of her, some of her with her dad, a couple of me and a few of her and I together.  I didn't realize it at the time, but we hardly take pictures together. But at 3 years old..she let it be known that she noticed I was missing in pictures.  Each time she saw one of her and her dad she'd say "that's Kiyah and Daddy."  If she saw herself, she'd say "that's me, where's mommy?" and if she saw one with both of us in it together she'd get so happy that we were in the same picture.  

So that's when I realized, I guess taking pictures WITH her is just as important as taking pictures OF her.  

So, Mom's(& Dad's)..take pictures with your babies!! They will appreciate it when they are older and so will you!

here are some oldies, but goodies!

Let's Play Dress Up

I am SO happy I had a girl! I mean, beyond the attitude I already get, and the attitude I know is coming, having a girl is so much fun. She's such a girly girl and I L O V E it!
The other day she told me she was "the only princess this year".  Fine by me.
She wakes up and puts on whatever her favorite item of the minute, day or week is--and goes to sleep doing the same.  She helps me with things around the house in her faves, plays and relaxes in her faves, and it always has to be her idea of perfect. 

most of these pictures are before 8am..meaning, she woke up, and got dressed immediately haha.

I can't say that I will ever allow her to "dress up" in public, but while we are at home, I am all for her wild imagination.

Co-Parenting

hmm.. this is a real topic for me. & before I start, I'll give you a disclaimer that this could very well be a long post..I didn't actually put any thought what so ever into what I would be writing or just how personal I would get, but today when I was thinking of what I should blog about, this is the topic that kept coming to mind.  So, maybe somebody out there needs to read it.  I can't promise to give you every single detail, but I promise to be honest in the pieces I do give you.  I can only speak for myself, not the other parent, mainly because I don't know what co-parenting means in his mind and partly because I would like to respect our privacy..or his privacy in some way..I don't know. 

Growing up, I always planned to be happily married for 1 year, and then after that happily married and happily mothering.  You know, enjoy being a wife for a while and then enjoy being a wife and a mother for the rest of my life.  Well, things didn't exactly go that way..they actually didn't go that way AT ALL.

When I found out I was pregnant, I just kept thinking "I don't want my child to grow up in a broken home." I wanted what pretty much every parent wants for their child, a stable two-parent home.  I didn't want her to have to travel from house to house or anything that came along with that. I didn't want to drag her through court date drama and the likes of whatever would be attached to that--emotionally, financially, mentally.  We had to make it work, not because we were in love, or because we had spent so much of our time, energy and effort together, in this relationship, but because we were having a child, and that child needed both parents under the same roof.  The problem with that entire thought process is that I failed to be real with myself.  Our relationship was toxic. We didn't need to be together. Although we loved each other with every ounce of love you could give a significant other, we could also hate each other with that same amount.  So why would I EVER want our child to have to deal with our toxicity under one roof?    

At some point, you have to realize the most important person in the whole situation is the child.  Your feelings don't matter, the other parents feelings don't matter.  All that matters is the physical, mental and emotional well being of this child. When I was finally strong enough to understand that, I knew it was actually best that she travel from house to house, it was best that we went to court, it was best that we didn't try to force ourselves to make an already toxic relationship work, especially for the sake of a child.  Ask yourself if you'd rather have a child in therapy every week because her parents are so fucked up that she can't even think straight at home, or a child that can love both of her parents equally, in separate houses a day or two out of the week. We chose the latter.  It means that we get to raise a healthy, happy, emotionally stable young girl into a healthy, happy, emotionally stable, head strong, smart, independent woman. 

It's hard at times--really hard.  So, if you're battling with yourself on the topic, I want you to know that it can get easier.  I can't say that for sure, because every situation is different but I really think that once you both realize that neither of you are as important as the child you are raising, then every relationship/emotional disagreement you have or had won't matter anymore. Eventually, you'll let go, you'll move on, you will release yourself of he weight you were carrying.  Your child will give you that strength.  THAT I know for sure, because my child gave me that strength.  Sometimes I want to punch him in the face, kick him in the balls and stab him in the eye with a pen all at once, and I'm 100% sure he feels the same way about me--or similar since I don't have balls. I complain about him to my mom all the time, I curse him out in my head even more often than that, I send rude text messages from time to time when I feel like he needs to do things differently, or my way, or not at all.  Other times I'm like, damn, we are co-parenting but we have our situation together more than some couples that live together or are married with a child or children.  We argue, we disagree, we parent differently in a lot of situations, but you pick your battles, and you NEVER let your child see, feel, or hear you when there is a disagreement. 

For a very long time we didn't even speak at pick ups and drop offs.  But now, we are able to do a family day here and there because it makes Kiyah happy.  In my opinion it's important that she knows that even though we aren't together, we both love her, we are always going to be her family, and she's blessed to be able to have two parents. In a few years, she will ask questions and understand that her mommy and daddy don't live in the same house like some of her friends' mommy and daddy, so we'll cross that bridge when we get there.  Maybe doing a family day isn't what works for your co-family, but maybe just the ability to be cordial when you are face to face is better than putting a child in an unhealthy home environment.  

She lives with me.  So, I make sure that if she wants to have a conversation about her daddy, we do.  There's no "don't talk about the other parent" rule in my house.  She is free to speak of him or call him to talk to him whenever she wants.  

At some point, he'll marry someone else, and the only thing I can do is pray that she is willing and able to be on the same page that we are as far as parenting the child that she is now taking part in raising. Obviously, the same goes for him, he doesn't get to choose who I marry, but he can pray that he's a good fit for stepping into the family--I say family because we will be one big family, all connected to the most important person of the entire situation, Kiyah Jae. 

So, I guess you could say I'm "pro-co-parenting", if that's a thing.  You get the hang of things, you get into a routine and you make it work how it is.  Kiyah needed both parents in her life.  So, she got it. If you ask her, she'll tell you--"I have 2 houses.  One for mommy's house, one for daddy's house, that's fine."

No Filter

We all know that kids have not a care in the world when it comes to speaking their minds. It's a trait we often lose as we grow into adults, but thinking about my smart mouth, her dad's quick mouth and her own amazing personality..I don't think it's going anywhere for Kiyah.  So, today I learned that the best thing for me to do, is to teach her to do it somewhat appropriately.  

As she's gotten older, she asks more questions about all the observations she makes.  She's always been extremely observant and now that her dictionary is expanding, her observations have come to life. Now, don't expect any advice on how to curve what you will read next because not only do I not have any, I don't even think I'm handling this correctly myself.  Although she tells me I'm the best mommy "ever over the world", I really have no clue what to do in this situation. 

When we go out places, stores, parks, whatever, if she sees something she's not particularly into on another person, she asks me about it...the last two times though, were a little...rude to say the least. 

So let me paint the picture for you for the first time, maybe 2 months ago..we are walking out of the grocery store, she is in the cart, in the front part where kids are supposed to sit, and a man is walking behind me so my sweet little Kiyah POINTS and asks, "mommy why hims teef look like dat?!"  This time, I quickly put her arm down and said stop pointing, be quiet, and made it a point NOT to turn around to look at this mans teeth.  Of course, she touches her teeth and says "But I just asking you why."

So I had a brief talk with her and told her that she can't just point things out on people if she thinks it looks funny or if she doesn't like it.  Moved on from it, because I really just didn't know how to address that to a, at the time, 2 year old. 

Today, we were at the store, having a great time, laughing and joking together as we searched for things we don't need..because that's what happens when you go into Target. I chose a lane and it was a male cashier...makes no difference, his line was shortest.  Well, he was obviously obese but I didn't put two thoughts to it because who I am to judge?  As we roll up to the register Kiyah says, "Why hims look like that?"  She said it in kind of a whisper, so I just quickly whispered back to her, "stop it. Don't start."  He was sweating, profusely, so I was assuming maybe that's what she was referring to because it's not like we are teaching her fat and skinny, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt and thought maybe she didn't even realize his weight and was maybe amused by the sweat.  WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! "Look at hims big ole belly."  Normally, I would correct the hims and tell her to say he, but that was the least of my concern.  I just ignored her guys. I kept paying attention to the stuff being swiped across the counter and ignored her, what the hell else was I supposed to do?! I pushed her away a little, really hoping he wasn't hearing her because she didn't stop there.  Next she said, "and hims little liiiiips"...lips has a lot of I's because she is at this point about to make a list of things that she does not like on this man. & the only thing I knew to do was ignore her, and be extra nice to him while he was ringing me up since my daughter is being the biggest jerk on Earth.  

I felt like such an asshole, but I really didn't know what to do.  I panicked lol, I choked, I dropped the ball, all of that.  I just wasn't prepared, and I probably won't be the next time either.  I still had the talk with her after, and told her that next time if she has something to say to just wait until we get to the car and tell me.  So, when we got to the car she said "I'm sorry mommy.  I'm sorry I said the big ole belly." 

My mom's advice was to tell her "whisper in my ear, so noone else can hear."  Which is great, because it rhymes.  So next time I will try that, but until she gets it..I just have to be the asshole parent, who most people thinks looks too young to be a parent anyway, with the child with no manners.  

I promise she has manners though, she just isn't always sure when to use them :\

3 Year Update.

I know, I know..I haven't blogged in forever. But listen, I'm 26..in the 3 months that I haven't blogged I've experienced depression, extreme happiness, extreme confusion and now I'm back to my normal self.  I guess that's what happens at 26? Hell, I don't know. This is my first time.  But we can talk about that another time, today, let me just update you on little Miss Kiyah Jae.

She just turned 3 and so far I really like this age.  I noticed as we got closer to 3 the conversations we shared "matured" a bit, she wants to be a lot more involved in the decisions regarding her life, she's way more aware of what's going on around her and she's very interested in the who's who and what's what of things that go on in our life. 

Beyond her "maturity" level growing, her level of hilarity has really begun to shine.  It really is fantastic that such a little person can be filled with so much character and personality at such a young age.  

She is quite the storyteller, too.  She told me she had a little brother at her grandma's house (her dad's mom) all while she was telling her dad that I had a baby growing in my tummy and I was getting married.  

Usually when she is telling one of her crazy lies, it includes a tiger or a jungle, and that's how I am able to determine what's real and what's fake. 

She's incredibly smart, able to trace anything you dot out, identifies her letters, numbers and colors and that makes me happy.

I have never met anyone, adults included, more appreciative and grateful than my three year old is for EVERY SINGLE THING anyone gives her or anything they do for her.  It really, really warms my heart that she has that amount of gratitude in her heart, because I know how hard that can be once life gets a hold of you.  I will do all I can to help her stay that way. 

She still gets in trouble a lot, tells me I'm "making her nerves" and huffs and puffs when I tell her to do something, but she's usually pretty remorseful once she gets in the corner lmao and wants to make sure I'm happy with her when she is finally out.

She's a happy girl, I can hear it in her laugh, feel it in her hugs and see it in her smile.  So, even though she is STILL sleeping in my bed and on top of my head (I know, operation sleep in your own bed was an EPIC fail), she is perfect and I love her more each day.

Now that I'm back, I will do my best to keep my blogs consistent again..I do enjoy writing them.  

Same Dish, Different Day

I love cooking. It's actually one of my favorite things to do.  Granted, I hate the clean up but I do love experimenting with different things.  It's sometimes a little harder to try all the things I want to try since I only cook for myself and Kiyah. & Kiyah is weird about sauce on her food, and I LOVE sauce on my food.  So I usually stick to the basics during the week.

I feel like sticking to the basics during the week means we eat the same thing over and over again.  That is in large part because when I buy meat, I buy the family pack size, cook some of it, freeze some of it. 

Last night for dinner I made some thin steaks we had in the freezer, and just used the sides (rice and broccoli) that we hadn't finished from the night before.  Now, I feel tired of eating steak with A1 Sauce, or no sauce, so I thought, well, let me try to create a sauce and cook the steak a little differently.

OH.MY.GOSH!! I am a genius.  Honestly, maybe not, but it was frikkin delicious.

Here are the seasonings I used..which is for the most part pretty standard for me.

I seasoned the meat..

 Next I decided to chop up some onions and green peppers.  I lightly drizzled olive oil over them and let them cook for about 3 minutes, after that I added some Worcestershire sauce and let them cook for another 3 minutes or so.  Kiyah won't eat peppers and onions, so I didn't use too many.

 After that I threw the seasoned thin steaks over the simmering onions and peppers and added a bit more Worcestershire sauce. Covered while they cook.

Once the steaks were done I removed them as well as the veggies, just keeping the Worcestershire sauce in the skillet so that I could use it in the sauce I was creating in my mind.

 Into the Worcestershire sauce that was left over I added just a splash of lemon juice, about 3 finger full servings of brown sugar and 2 splashes of teriyaki sauce. I let it cook on low for about 2 minutes, while stirring to be sure the brown sugar melted.  The only reason I didn't measure is because I was just making it up as I went along.  So I would just say do it all to taste if you give it a try.  Here's what the sauce looked like...

It was SO good you guys.  It has like a little bit of a sweeter tangier taste to it.  But it definitely made for a great jazzing up of a regular dinner. I even put it over my broccoli and it was amazing!

Today for lunch I chopped up some of the left over steak, and threw it along with the rice, green peppers and onions into a yellow pepper, drizzled the special sauce over it and baked it for about 10 minutes.  ( I boiled the yellow pepper first)  

YUM YUM YUM! 

Facials & Finances

For as long as I can remember I have always cleansed my face each night before bed with a cotton ball and rubbing alcohol.  Now, it sounds ridiculous, but for the most part it has kept my face pretty clear.  I mean, it was drying it out something serious, but it was clear, so I dealt.  About 3 months ago I was introduced to Beauti Control and fell madly in love with the product.  So, I thought I'd share one of my favorite products from the line with you..

Most of you know about Microderm Abrasion, and you probably know how expensive the tools are, or how expensive it is to go to a spa to receive the treatment on your own.  Well, through Beauti Control, you can have pharmaceutical grade Microderm Abrasion in the comfort of your own home, as many times a month as you'd like, for one price.  I think that's fab.  Seriously my face has NEVER felt more clean or fresh than it does after using these products.  

I want to show you the difference in my skin after a Microderm Abrasion treatment.  Before using the Microderm Tool and Microderm Apeel, I cleansed my face with Step 1 of the BC Facial.  To my wet face I applied the Apeel and allowed it to sit for about 2 mins. (pulled my hair back and put a head band to avoid getting it wet, or getting the product in it)

I avoided one small area on my nose only because my piercing is like 2 days old and I was too scared.

My lips have a BC Lip Balm on them that I applied after doing a lip mask. (Which makes my lips so soft because it removes dead skin)

But most importantly...look at how frikkn polished my skin looks!!! That's after just ONE treatment & NO filters on the picture!! 

So, the finances part of the title just mean that I fell in love with the product so much so that I decided to become a consultant, so my shameless plug starts here...IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN USING OR LEARNING MORE ABOUT THIS PRODUCT OR ANY OTHER AMAZING BEAUTI CONTROL PRODUCTS PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME AT SPAESCAPELA@GMAIL.COM TO FIND OUT HOW! 

side note: ignore my naked nails...that was next on my list lol y'all know I'm all about DIY.

Breaking Habits

So, I haven't blogged in a bit..not for lack of time, but for lack of topic.  I hate reading pointless blogs, so I refuse to write them.  Anyway, this blog will be about my attempt to change Kiyah's sleeping habits.  The one where I have to lay with her until she falls asleep as well as the one where she sleeps with me.  

Now, these are both completely my fault.  I take full responsibility, so I am going to try easing her into breaking both habits. However, it's getting harder to have to lay with her until she falls asleep as I have started a part time work from home business and would like to be able to go to bed myself at a reasonable time.  As for sleeping with me, well, I have a queen sized bed and she actually takes up pretty much the whole thing AND she ALWAYS has to bring at least one friend with her.  I will use this blog to document the journey and just update here each day or week.  

Day 1. 
I feel like getting her comfortable being in the bedroom alone, with the lights off is probably the best first step.  So I prepped her for that transition by giving her a couple of DVD options (each 30-45 mins max) .  She got to choose one, and that was the one she would "climb in mommy's bed and watch".  I told her that when it went off to let me know and then it would be time to go night night.  She did great with that, I turned the lights off, put on Barbie's Horseland, and pulled the door up.  (I do not close doors completely in my house unless they lead to outside.) She was fine, no tears, she stayed there quietly and watched the DVD. Once it went off though, she actually did cry when it was time to go to sleep.  Which is abnormal for her, for the most part.  When she fell asleep, I left the room as usual.  The bad thing I did is that today she is with her dad, so I started a new routine on a bad day.  I will try this routine for about 3-5 days and see what the changes are. 

Day 1...AGAIN.
Well, since the last time I blogged about this, I haven't done anything else. lol. so much for consistency right?..hey, well at least my kid is potty trained. Anyway, I tried again last night, and I will try this same thing again tonight..hopefully :/.  This time, I had her climb in her own bed, and I stayed in the room with her. We sang songs together, me from my bed, her from hers, and I was hoping that she kind of sang herself to sleep.  Which has happened before..but in my bed.  That didn't work, but she did stay in her bed the entire time, with a few almost tear breaks.  Once we were done singing, I put a timer on, and told her that she could climb in my bed once the timer went off since she was so sad and on the verge of tears.  Again, I thought she would wait herself to sleep.  I set the timer for 15 minutes, told her she had to be quiet and keep her eyes closed while she waited, and she agreed.  She did ask about 5 minutes in if the timer had gone off yet, but other than that, she was very quiet and I thought she fell asleep.  I was so proud.  Then the timer went off and she popped up with joy like a pop tart and said "now I climb in mommy's bed?"  So, I told her she could, so long as she left all of her friends in her bed.  FAIL. i know lol. whatever. in due time i guess. 

Saving Shirts

So, having a 2.5 year old means LOTS of stains. Juice stains, grass stains, mud stains, you name it, she's stained it. 

Generally, i just throw whatever she stained in the wash and hope for the best.  Usually resulting in me letting her use said stained item of clothing as painting gear or just simply throwing it out.  

Yesterday she had on a new shirt, grey and white stripes, and decided that on the way home from day care she HAD to have the Jello she didn't eat out of her lunch box.  Of course, I told her to wait until we got home because I didn't have a spoon for her, but since I am not starring at her while I drive, she managed to get it open and go crazy.  Like, she literally ate more than half the cup of Jello, without a spoon and damn near licked the cup clean while she was at it.  Jello is not like applesauce so that took some talent lol.

Anyway, it was all over her face, neck and shirt. BRIGHT RED and all the way through.  I knew for sure this shirt was going in the trash, but since it was new I thought I'd give the Tide Stain Release I purchased a little while ago a try.  

I took the shirt off of her right when we got home, and then sprayed the Tide on the stain directly, folded the shirt up so that all the goodness could soak in and let it sit for about 15 mins. 

Next, I rinsed the shirt out, sprayed some more Tide Stain Release, gave it another 30 minutes or so and then rinsed it again.  After that I put some laundry detergent on the shirt, rubbed it in and let it sit for a few hours. 

Before going to bed I rinsed the shirt out and told myself I probably wasted my time because 
that stain was not going anywhere, and BOOM! to my surprise the stain was GONE!!! 

Tide Stain Release has my vote!

Summer Reading

I've finally been able to start reading books again. Forgot how much I love it! Summer is the perfect time to catch up on your favorite books, books from a book club you've been meaning to read, or starting your own summer reading book club!

Unfortunately I found out that most of the bookstores no longer exist.  I guess we have Nook, Kindle and what ever other E-Readers that are out to thank for that. There are a few Barnes & Nobles left, just not in my area, so I'd have to drive a bit to get to one, or order offline, save on gas and pay shipping and handling instead.  However, I did find a Goodwill that sells books! It's actually pretty cool.  They have a pretty decent children selection and adult selection.  The books are all less than $7 AND its buy 2, get 1 free. They also have movies, I think only kid movies but still pretty legit.  Kiyah loves going and picking books out and it doesn't break my pockets so I don't mind either.  Look in your area to see if you've got a Goodwill Bookstore.

You can also save a few bucks by ordering your books online at Walmart.  You receive 40% off by ordering online, free shipping if you spend $35 or more, or you can choose to pick your order up in your nearest Walmart for free after you place your order online. Click the link below to take you directly to the book selection.

40% Off Select Books at Walmart.com Plus Free Store Pickup!

Leave a comment with what you're reading this summer! 

& Remember, you reading shows your kids how cool reading is, if you have them, so set that example while they're young!

Happy Reading

Life: The Subject They Left Out

We spend practically our entire lives in school, preparing for life.  They teach us English, Math of various sorts, different types of Science, Econ etc. But, at 25, I think there is tons of stuff they left out..we should have had a class called "Life" in each grade just like we had English, Math, Science and an "Elective".  I for one would have liked to been prepared for some of the things I've experienced.

Here are a few things we SHOULD have learned in school: 

>Algebra, trig, stats..it was all a waste of time.  What they should have taught me was how to budget the money I make, how to read the damn paycheck stubs, and how to determine how much taxes are supposed to be coming out of my check each pay period. 

>How about CREDIT IS EVERY THING!?!  They sure didn't teach us that.  Note to self: don't let Kiyah ruin her credit before she even becomes of age. Literally, even if you don't make boo-cue money, but you have a high credit score, the car, the house, the apartment, really whatever you want, is yours! Start making smart credit decisions at a young age and reap the benefits when you're older.  Sure wish I would have learned that back in the day, now I'm trying to fix my credit and I'm only 25. 

>They probably should have taught us how to choose our health plan/health care provider, too. Just saying, when you open the benefits book at a new job its just a tad confusing.

>At 25, I've already had at least TWO mid-life crisis' and I haven't even hit my mid life yet--well assuming I'm blessed to be on Earth longer than 50 years.  They should explain to you that around 23-25 you will beat yourself up over not feeling like you are where you're supposed to be for the age that you are. Like you're supposed to be making more moves, more money, and decision making should feel a lot easier than it does.  But the fact of the matter is that you are where you're supposed to be right now.  Just take a look at where you've come from and remain confident that you have so much more to learn, experience and achieve.   For most of us, we are doing very well for ourselves, but being our own worst critics can certainly get the best of us.  Trust Your Struggle! It will be your testimony later. [ I'll blog about this in a bit more detail, soon.]

>Oh the importance of networking. In school, they are so adamant about you learning the material that they forgot to teach you how to network with people.  A lot of times, it really isn't what you know, it's who you know. Small example, maybe a company you want to work at has a job-opening but chose not to post the position, instead they just told current employees to spread the word.  If you don't network enough to find out, then, you missed that opportunity to even apply. That's the cold-hearted truth. So I'm here to tell you, get yourself some networking skills and use them when you go places.  Network your ass off to meet the right people, to get you to where you need and or want to be in life.  Now, of course you need to have the work ethic behind your networking skills, but I am just going to go out on a limb and assume you do.

>They should have taught us how to distinguish the assholes from the good person when dating.  At least then, assholes could pick each other and save us good ones for the other good ones. But since they didn't we live in a sick twisted world of good people dating assholes and turning into assholes because an asshole screwed them over. Ok, kind of dramatic, but you get it. 

>Maybe everyone won't agree with this, but there needs to be a class, or at least a lesson every student learns on being in the same population as other human beings that have special needs.  Special needs or not, they are human beings, so making fun of them actually makes you a bully, not a comedian. 

>In that same regard, maybe a "come-backs" class would have been helpful for the kids that weren't naturally witty.  Then bullies wouldn't have the upper hand because the person they are bullying had something witty enough to shut them up...or it could just start a fight.  Alright, scratch the "come-backs" class. Sorry. 

>How to get over a break up...that would have been helpful. When you're young and "in love", and "forever" actually ended yesterday, you feel like the world is over.  Actually, it isn't. Find somebody new, gather what you learned from the last forever, and hope that the next forever is actually forever, or at least a little longer than the last forever. [ I laughed when I typed this.]


These are just a few things that I can think of that I wish we would have learned in school.  There's of course a few more inappropriate ones I could discuss, but I'll keep it classy.  

Hope you enjoyed the read.  Feel free to add on to it in the comments!

Toddler Snack Pack

Working with children, I see DAILY how unhealthy their snacks and or lunches are on a daily basis.  Mostly, packaged cookies, packaged cakes, chips, etc.  Now, I know it gets busy day to day, so you purchase the quickest things to throw in their bags but I just wanted to share with you what goes in Kiyah's Snack Pack.  Maybe it will encourage you or give you ideas on healthier choices.  

Packing sugary foods gives your child the false energy the need to play during lunch or recess, but then they crash during critical learning hours at school.  If you pack healthier options, they will have natural energy and be able to focus in class A LOT MORE!

It may take a little more work, but what is a little more work compared to a healthier, happier child?

Now, I am not saying to completely take away all the fun stuff in their packs, because, they are still kids and a treat never hurt. I'm just saying add more healthy options.  I see first hand the difference in children who eat healthier options than those that don't.

Kiyah's Snack Pack is just that...snacks.  It is not an actual lunch because her daycare provides breakfast and lunch, so these snacks are for snack times and to add to the meals that are provided.

Her water bottle holds water from a 16.9 oz bottle.  The reason I put it in this bottle instead of just sending a regular water bottle is because as weird as it sounds, she is more likely to drink water out of something fun, like this bottle (or her tea cups during tea parties) than she is out of regular water bottles.  Don't know why, don't really care as long as she gets water each day. 

 She has strawberries, white corn tortilla chips, teddy grams, carrots and cucumber and ranch for dipping them in the little egg.

Bought this water bottle at the Dollar Tree..the one by my house has tons of different cups and bottles with lids and such. 

Healthy Choices

Listen, I know better than just about anybody how delicious food can be. Especially the bad food. But, as I mentioned before, since giving birth, my body holds weight a bit different than it used to. Therefore, I had to start making healthier food choices. Not to mention I have to be an example for Kiyah because naturally she will eat the crap I eat or at least try to eat the good stuff, just because she sees me eating it.

Now, I know that it's hard to just stop eating your normal go to food, so my advice is to make small changes.

Instead of eating fried foods, try baking or grilling them. That'll eliminate some of the fats.

Exchange some of your snacks like chips and cookies for things like nuts and fruits. Even if you just start with swapping out only one bad snack at a time. Baby steps. Baby steps.

Eventually, you will feel better internally, thus, making you feel better externally too. Of course, I still encourage at least an hour of exercise at least 3 times a week.

I'm not perfect, I still love pizza, burgers, fried foods and In-N-Out. However, I know that by starting to make the small changes, eventually I will be able to do it more naturally, and more often.

I also noticed that when I snack on veggies instead of chips, Kiyah follows suit.

This weekend I snacked on cucumbers with balsamic vinegarette dressing and found out that she loved it! Now it's another healthy, easy, inexpensive snack to go in her lunchbox each day.

Take it one step at a time, you gotta start somewhere!

Happy Eating!

Fit Time

Happy Wednesday! 

I'm gonna keep this post short..I just wanted to remind all of the busy moms out there to FIND TIME TO KEEP FIT!

Even if you don't have a gym membership, find time to get a workout in at home.  Most cable providers have on-demand routines you can grab some tips from, there are tons of social media sites that give visual workouts that you can incorporate or you can just do the basics (lunges, squats, sit ups, planks, leg lifts, push ups.)

If you feel as though you don't have time during the day, set your clock 45 minutes to an hour early, wake up, get a quick workout in, shower and proceed with your regular morning routine.  If not waking up earlier, go to a bit later in order to get it in. 

It will definitely make a difference in your every day life as well as your body! Just because you're busy doesn't mean you can't be in shape and busy!

You can do it!! 

Working Mom

Not every mom has the financial ability to be a Stay-At-Home Mom.  In fact, most of us don't, so finding the balance between working all day and coming home to make dinner, bathe your kid(s), clean the mess from dinner and the toys that were thrown all over the place, get the littles to bed, bathe yourself, get prepped for tomorrow and then finally going to sleep for what seems like an hour or two (deep breath) can seem over-whelming.  Sometimes it actually is over-whelming. 

The most important thing is finding a routine that works best for your family and STICKING TO IT!  What works in my house for my family may not even scratch the surface of what needs to be done in your house, with your family.  But if you find that you are not getting everything you need to get done before you go to bed each night, you may need to go back to the drawing board and try a new routine. 

If you do try a new routine, give it a week or two before you cross it off because it may take that long for everyone to get used to the new way of things. 

But here are my recommendations on a smooth(ER) week :

1. Make dinners that will last more than one night.  This will give you a little bit of a break throughout the week because instead of having to cook full meals each night, you will be able to just re heat last nights dinner.

2. On the nights you do have to cook, give your little one something entertaining to do, and put him/her in your sight.  This will allow you to keep your momentum going while you're cooking and not have to stop every 3 seconds to check on your little one. 

3.  Once you have all eaten, declare it clean up time.  Turn off any electronics that may be a distraction and show your little one where his/her toys belong, and allow him/her to put the toys away while you get any dishes done that you didn't clean as you were cooking. Of course, your little one won't do a perfect job putting every toy away, BUT, you will be teaching the idea of cleaning up after yourself, and it will also lessen the load for you, even if it's just a tiny bit.  EVERY BIT COUNTS.

4.  During bath time, if your little one likes to hang out in there for a while, you can knock out two birds with one stone by reading a story, while your little one is in the bath tub.  Even though he/she may be playing with bath toys, they will still listen to the story, and look at the pictures when you show them. This should give you guys a little time to play together after bath time since up until now you have been busy around the kitchen. 

5. Now that the little one is down for the count, you can clean up any mess that is left over, bathe yourself, pack tomorrow's lunches, daycare/work bags and whatever else you need to handle like bills and wine.

These are tiny tips, but they may make things run just a little bit smoother in your house. Sometimes you will get off track...it happens, just remember to get back on where you left off.

Good Luck! 

Fave Friday

My hair is probably one of my best assets.

Kiyah's hair is one of many amazing assets.

I am very particular about what goes into both my hair and hers.   So, I wanted to share with you a few of my faves!

For Kiyah's hair I use the Kinky-Curly Knot Today line.  It is an organic line of Shampoos, Conditioners, Curling Custard etc.  I generally only use the Shampoo and Conditioner (which is leave-in detangler as well) on her hair.  It is $11.99 a bottle, for each, and you can find it at Target.

She has soft, curly hair and her curls are still fairly tight.  This line allows easy comb through and styling while maintaining her beautiful curls.

For my hair I use the Organix line.  I am currently using Macadamia Oil Shampoo as well as Conditioner.  For heat protection I place a tiny amount of Sexy Hair: Soy Renewal Argan Oil throughout my wet hair before blow drying.  This decreases blow dry time, which is helpful because my hair is thick! I use this when I am going to straighten my hair, which is usually what I do.  It gives my hair a great shine and fancy flowyness.

If I am doing a wash and go pony then I use the Kinky Curly line for my hair as well, and it works great for me, even though Kiyah and I have different textured hair.  If I want to go for a more tamed, curly look I use their Curling Custard.

With the Custard I wash my hair, style it in whatever pony tail, or part it where I want it to be parted the next day and apply custard to each section while adding small to medium braids.  Although the Custard works great for my hair, I am not really a fan of how it is in Kiyah's hair.

THE PRODUCTS: (the Kinky-Curly Shampoo is missing, but it is in the same size bottle as the Conditioner but with green writing.)

Here is a look at how the Curling Custard works for me:

1. I put my hair in the style I want for the next day, which for this day it was half up, half down & added small to medium braids.  Be sure to put Custard on EACH braided section before braiding it. (I do it before bed time)

2. Let it dry over night.  If it is not completely dry in the morning, use a blow dryer over it.  This picture shows how it looks directly after taking the braids out the next morning.

3. This is how it looked by the end of the day. 

I'll work on getting a video up on my Mommy Monday Segment on www.youtube.com/themixx5

thanks for reading!

Quiet Time

this one will be short & sweet--

I know that as a mother, sometimes you just need a break--even more so if you and your child/children just live together, without a father in the home. I'm here to let you know...it is ok to feel that way.  Trust me when I say, WE ALL FEEL THAT WAY SOMETIMES.

It's not always easy or even necessary to find a sitter to catch a quick break.

If you're a reader, turn off all the gadgets in the house, and tell your little ones that you guys are gonna sit together and relax.  Give your little one a coloring book and crayons, or his or her own book to look at and you can cuddle up together for 15-30 minutes and just read.  Obviously, there will be times when your little one talks and gets excited about whatever is being colored or the exciting pictures in the book that is being read, but he/she will definitely follow your lead in quietly reading your books.  Plus, it sets a good example for the future when your little one really knows how to read!

You can also find a quiet, relaxing, activity that will keep your toddler entertained but calm, like coloring, and do it together..this will keep your toddler calm and collective but entertained because you are coloring with them. Because sometimes, you just need them to relax for a second lol, you need a moment to breathe and soak in..life. 

Sometimes the feeling of being overwhelmed simply comes from all of the noise that comes with playing toddlers and playing with toddlers.  Finding 15-30 minutes of quiet time will help you gather your sanity and calm your busy bee's down. 

It's ok to need a break and it's ok to take one!

Mommy Maintenance

I think it is so important to not forget about yourself once you become a mom.

I mean, of course, once the baby gets here she/he comes first. You make sure the baby is bathed first, sometimes you don't even have time to properly bathe yourself..(only in the beginning because a nap may actually be more important than the shower you long for while the baby is napping), you make sure you feed the baby, and sometimes you forget to feed yourself!

Side Note: Try really hard not to forget to feed yourself, you can't help baby if you pass out from hunger! Not to mention, if you're breast feeding, you eating will allow your milk to fill up to pass on to the baby--I forgot to eat once when Kiyah was maybe a week old, and milk was not flowing the way it should have so I had to use formula to make sure she was getting an adequate amount of nutrients.

Anyway, once things have calmed down a bit, and you realize you haven't straitened your hair in months, your nails are horrid, and you have more hair on your body than your boyfriend, you probably also realized in that same moment that going to the hair salon, nail shop or getting a full body wax is no longer in your budget. Which is completely understandable, especially if you are a single parent. BUT! That does NOT mean that you need to walk around looking a HOT MESS just because you're busy being a great mom!

Now that you've become accustomed to not sleeping, or getting less sleep, spare one of your mommy/baby naps, and let baby have this one solo. Take that time to wash, deep condition and style your hair however you feel makes you pretty. Great hair makes for an even better day! Also, once you finally get back into the groove of doing your hair, it will encourage you to do it more often, making it a part of your regular routine. Obvi, doing your own hair saves you at least a guilt free $40 a month.

Next we can attack those nails, depending on your budget, you can do this all at once, or bit by bit each month--buy nail polish, nail polish remover, cotton balls, q-tips, pedicure/manicure sets and anything else you think you may need to achieve a presentable mani/pedi. If you're used to getting your nails done by a professional it will definitely take a few practice runs of doing your nails on your own before you get good at it, BUT, in the end it's so worth it! Your mani/pedi kits will probably be the most expensive thing, but no more than 10 bucks and they will last quite a while. Your cotton balls, q-tips, remover, emery boards etc. can all be purchased and your local Target or Dollar Tree for about $1. As for your nail polish, each paycheck, go to Target, grab a couple different brands so that you know which brand you like best and then once you figure that out you can go buy a few colors each time you visit Target or each time you get paid..whichever fits your budget best. Again--this will have to sacrifice one of your nap times, but it is worth it.

About that body hair..buy NAIR! Works great and it doesn't smell bad like it did when it first hit the market lol. It's about $5 a bottle but that will last you a couple months and is way less expensive than getting waxed. I will say that you should spend the $10 to get your brows done professionally, though. No one takes a woman serious when her brows are bad...sorry.

Maintaining your sexy even after baby has arrived is important for you, in my opinion. It makes you feel like you haven't exactly lost yourself in all the chaos and it keeps your mans attention. A real man will find so much appeal in his woman who is not only being an amazing mom, but also keeping herself up. Feeling good on the inside is the most important of course, but feeling good on the outside will definitely help!