Life: The Subject They Left Out

We spend practically our entire lives in school, preparing for life.  They teach us English, Math of various sorts, different types of Science, Econ etc. But, at 25, I think there is tons of stuff they left out..we should have had a class called "Life" in each grade just like we had English, Math, Science and an "Elective".  I for one would have liked to been prepared for some of the things I've experienced.

Here are a few things we SHOULD have learned in school: 

>Algebra, trig, stats..it was all a waste of time.  What they should have taught me was how to budget the money I make, how to read the damn paycheck stubs, and how to determine how much taxes are supposed to be coming out of my check each pay period. 

>How about CREDIT IS EVERY THING!?!  They sure didn't teach us that.  Note to self: don't let Kiyah ruin her credit before she even becomes of age. Literally, even if you don't make boo-cue money, but you have a high credit score, the car, the house, the apartment, really whatever you want, is yours! Start making smart credit decisions at a young age and reap the benefits when you're older.  Sure wish I would have learned that back in the day, now I'm trying to fix my credit and I'm only 25. 

>They probably should have taught us how to choose our health plan/health care provider, too. Just saying, when you open the benefits book at a new job its just a tad confusing.

>At 25, I've already had at least TWO mid-life crisis' and I haven't even hit my mid life yet--well assuming I'm blessed to be on Earth longer than 50 years.  They should explain to you that around 23-25 you will beat yourself up over not feeling like you are where you're supposed to be for the age that you are. Like you're supposed to be making more moves, more money, and decision making should feel a lot easier than it does.  But the fact of the matter is that you are where you're supposed to be right now.  Just take a look at where you've come from and remain confident that you have so much more to learn, experience and achieve.   For most of us, we are doing very well for ourselves, but being our own worst critics can certainly get the best of us.  Trust Your Struggle! It will be your testimony later. [ I'll blog about this in a bit more detail, soon.]

>Oh the importance of networking. In school, they are so adamant about you learning the material that they forgot to teach you how to network with people.  A lot of times, it really isn't what you know, it's who you know. Small example, maybe a company you want to work at has a job-opening but chose not to post the position, instead they just told current employees to spread the word.  If you don't network enough to find out, then, you missed that opportunity to even apply. That's the cold-hearted truth. So I'm here to tell you, get yourself some networking skills and use them when you go places.  Network your ass off to meet the right people, to get you to where you need and or want to be in life.  Now, of course you need to have the work ethic behind your networking skills, but I am just going to go out on a limb and assume you do.

>They should have taught us how to distinguish the assholes from the good person when dating.  At least then, assholes could pick each other and save us good ones for the other good ones. But since they didn't we live in a sick twisted world of good people dating assholes and turning into assholes because an asshole screwed them over. Ok, kind of dramatic, but you get it. 

>Maybe everyone won't agree with this, but there needs to be a class, or at least a lesson every student learns on being in the same population as other human beings that have special needs.  Special needs or not, they are human beings, so making fun of them actually makes you a bully, not a comedian. 

>In that same regard, maybe a "come-backs" class would have been helpful for the kids that weren't naturally witty.  Then bullies wouldn't have the upper hand because the person they are bullying had something witty enough to shut them up...or it could just start a fight.  Alright, scratch the "come-backs" class. Sorry. 

>How to get over a break up...that would have been helpful. When you're young and "in love", and "forever" actually ended yesterday, you feel like the world is over.  Actually, it isn't. Find somebody new, gather what you learned from the last forever, and hope that the next forever is actually forever, or at least a little longer than the last forever. [ I laughed when I typed this.]


These are just a few things that I can think of that I wish we would have learned in school.  There's of course a few more inappropriate ones I could discuss, but I'll keep it classy.  

Hope you enjoyed the read.  Feel free to add on to it in the comments!

Toddler Snack Pack

Working with children, I see DAILY how unhealthy their snacks and or lunches are on a daily basis.  Mostly, packaged cookies, packaged cakes, chips, etc.  Now, I know it gets busy day to day, so you purchase the quickest things to throw in their bags but I just wanted to share with you what goes in Kiyah's Snack Pack.  Maybe it will encourage you or give you ideas on healthier choices.  

Packing sugary foods gives your child the false energy the need to play during lunch or recess, but then they crash during critical learning hours at school.  If you pack healthier options, they will have natural energy and be able to focus in class A LOT MORE!

It may take a little more work, but what is a little more work compared to a healthier, happier child?

Now, I am not saying to completely take away all the fun stuff in their packs, because, they are still kids and a treat never hurt. I'm just saying add more healthy options.  I see first hand the difference in children who eat healthier options than those that don't.

Kiyah's Snack Pack is just that...snacks.  It is not an actual lunch because her daycare provides breakfast and lunch, so these snacks are for snack times and to add to the meals that are provided.

Her water bottle holds water from a 16.9 oz bottle.  The reason I put it in this bottle instead of just sending a regular water bottle is because as weird as it sounds, she is more likely to drink water out of something fun, like this bottle (or her tea cups during tea parties) than she is out of regular water bottles.  Don't know why, don't really care as long as she gets water each day. 

 She has strawberries, white corn tortilla chips, teddy grams, carrots and cucumber and ranch for dipping them in the little egg.

Bought this water bottle at the Dollar Tree..the one by my house has tons of different cups and bottles with lids and such. 

Healthy Choices

Listen, I know better than just about anybody how delicious food can be. Especially the bad food. But, as I mentioned before, since giving birth, my body holds weight a bit different than it used to. Therefore, I had to start making healthier food choices. Not to mention I have to be an example for Kiyah because naturally she will eat the crap I eat or at least try to eat the good stuff, just because she sees me eating it.

Now, I know that it's hard to just stop eating your normal go to food, so my advice is to make small changes.

Instead of eating fried foods, try baking or grilling them. That'll eliminate some of the fats.

Exchange some of your snacks like chips and cookies for things like nuts and fruits. Even if you just start with swapping out only one bad snack at a time. Baby steps. Baby steps.

Eventually, you will feel better internally, thus, making you feel better externally too. Of course, I still encourage at least an hour of exercise at least 3 times a week.

I'm not perfect, I still love pizza, burgers, fried foods and In-N-Out. However, I know that by starting to make the small changes, eventually I will be able to do it more naturally, and more often.

I also noticed that when I snack on veggies instead of chips, Kiyah follows suit.

This weekend I snacked on cucumbers with balsamic vinegarette dressing and found out that she loved it! Now it's another healthy, easy, inexpensive snack to go in her lunchbox each day.

Take it one step at a time, you gotta start somewhere!

Happy Eating!

Fit Time

Happy Wednesday! 

I'm gonna keep this post short..I just wanted to remind all of the busy moms out there to FIND TIME TO KEEP FIT!

Even if you don't have a gym membership, find time to get a workout in at home.  Most cable providers have on-demand routines you can grab some tips from, there are tons of social media sites that give visual workouts that you can incorporate or you can just do the basics (lunges, squats, sit ups, planks, leg lifts, push ups.)

If you feel as though you don't have time during the day, set your clock 45 minutes to an hour early, wake up, get a quick workout in, shower and proceed with your regular morning routine.  If not waking up earlier, go to a bit later in order to get it in. 

It will definitely make a difference in your every day life as well as your body! Just because you're busy doesn't mean you can't be in shape and busy!

You can do it!! 

Working Mom

Not every mom has the financial ability to be a Stay-At-Home Mom.  In fact, most of us don't, so finding the balance between working all day and coming home to make dinner, bathe your kid(s), clean the mess from dinner and the toys that were thrown all over the place, get the littles to bed, bathe yourself, get prepped for tomorrow and then finally going to sleep for what seems like an hour or two (deep breath) can seem over-whelming.  Sometimes it actually is over-whelming. 

The most important thing is finding a routine that works best for your family and STICKING TO IT!  What works in my house for my family may not even scratch the surface of what needs to be done in your house, with your family.  But if you find that you are not getting everything you need to get done before you go to bed each night, you may need to go back to the drawing board and try a new routine. 

If you do try a new routine, give it a week or two before you cross it off because it may take that long for everyone to get used to the new way of things. 

But here are my recommendations on a smooth(ER) week :

1. Make dinners that will last more than one night.  This will give you a little bit of a break throughout the week because instead of having to cook full meals each night, you will be able to just re heat last nights dinner.

2. On the nights you do have to cook, give your little one something entertaining to do, and put him/her in your sight.  This will allow you to keep your momentum going while you're cooking and not have to stop every 3 seconds to check on your little one. 

3.  Once you have all eaten, declare it clean up time.  Turn off any electronics that may be a distraction and show your little one where his/her toys belong, and allow him/her to put the toys away while you get any dishes done that you didn't clean as you were cooking. Of course, your little one won't do a perfect job putting every toy away, BUT, you will be teaching the idea of cleaning up after yourself, and it will also lessen the load for you, even if it's just a tiny bit.  EVERY BIT COUNTS.

4.  During bath time, if your little one likes to hang out in there for a while, you can knock out two birds with one stone by reading a story, while your little one is in the bath tub.  Even though he/she may be playing with bath toys, they will still listen to the story, and look at the pictures when you show them. This should give you guys a little time to play together after bath time since up until now you have been busy around the kitchen. 

5. Now that the little one is down for the count, you can clean up any mess that is left over, bathe yourself, pack tomorrow's lunches, daycare/work bags and whatever else you need to handle like bills and wine.

These are tiny tips, but they may make things run just a little bit smoother in your house. Sometimes you will get off track...it happens, just remember to get back on where you left off.

Good Luck! 

Fave Friday

My hair is probably one of my best assets.

Kiyah's hair is one of many amazing assets.

I am very particular about what goes into both my hair and hers.   So, I wanted to share with you a few of my faves!

For Kiyah's hair I use the Kinky-Curly Knot Today line.  It is an organic line of Shampoos, Conditioners, Curling Custard etc.  I generally only use the Shampoo and Conditioner (which is leave-in detangler as well) on her hair.  It is $11.99 a bottle, for each, and you can find it at Target.

She has soft, curly hair and her curls are still fairly tight.  This line allows easy comb through and styling while maintaining her beautiful curls.

For my hair I use the Organix line.  I am currently using Macadamia Oil Shampoo as well as Conditioner.  For heat protection I place a tiny amount of Sexy Hair: Soy Renewal Argan Oil throughout my wet hair before blow drying.  This decreases blow dry time, which is helpful because my hair is thick! I use this when I am going to straighten my hair, which is usually what I do.  It gives my hair a great shine and fancy flowyness.

If I am doing a wash and go pony then I use the Kinky Curly line for my hair as well, and it works great for me, even though Kiyah and I have different textured hair.  If I want to go for a more tamed, curly look I use their Curling Custard.

With the Custard I wash my hair, style it in whatever pony tail, or part it where I want it to be parted the next day and apply custard to each section while adding small to medium braids.  Although the Custard works great for my hair, I am not really a fan of how it is in Kiyah's hair.

THE PRODUCTS: (the Kinky-Curly Shampoo is missing, but it is in the same size bottle as the Conditioner but with green writing.)

Here is a look at how the Curling Custard works for me:

1. I put my hair in the style I want for the next day, which for this day it was half up, half down & added small to medium braids.  Be sure to put Custard on EACH braided section before braiding it. (I do it before bed time)

2. Let it dry over night.  If it is not completely dry in the morning, use a blow dryer over it.  This picture shows how it looks directly after taking the braids out the next morning.

3. This is how it looked by the end of the day. 

I'll work on getting a video up on my Mommy Monday Segment on www.youtube.com/themixx5

thanks for reading!

Quiet Time

this one will be short & sweet--

I know that as a mother, sometimes you just need a break--even more so if you and your child/children just live together, without a father in the home. I'm here to let you know...it is ok to feel that way.  Trust me when I say, WE ALL FEEL THAT WAY SOMETIMES.

It's not always easy or even necessary to find a sitter to catch a quick break.

If you're a reader, turn off all the gadgets in the house, and tell your little ones that you guys are gonna sit together and relax.  Give your little one a coloring book and crayons, or his or her own book to look at and you can cuddle up together for 15-30 minutes and just read.  Obviously, there will be times when your little one talks and gets excited about whatever is being colored or the exciting pictures in the book that is being read, but he/she will definitely follow your lead in quietly reading your books.  Plus, it sets a good example for the future when your little one really knows how to read!

You can also find a quiet, relaxing, activity that will keep your toddler entertained but calm, like coloring, and do it together..this will keep your toddler calm and collective but entertained because you are coloring with them. Because sometimes, you just need them to relax for a second lol, you need a moment to breathe and soak in..life. 

Sometimes the feeling of being overwhelmed simply comes from all of the noise that comes with playing toddlers and playing with toddlers.  Finding 15-30 minutes of quiet time will help you gather your sanity and calm your busy bee's down. 

It's ok to need a break and it's ok to take one!

Mommy Maintenance

I think it is so important to not forget about yourself once you become a mom.

I mean, of course, once the baby gets here she/he comes first. You make sure the baby is bathed first, sometimes you don't even have time to properly bathe yourself..(only in the beginning because a nap may actually be more important than the shower you long for while the baby is napping), you make sure you feed the baby, and sometimes you forget to feed yourself!

Side Note: Try really hard not to forget to feed yourself, you can't help baby if you pass out from hunger! Not to mention, if you're breast feeding, you eating will allow your milk to fill up to pass on to the baby--I forgot to eat once when Kiyah was maybe a week old, and milk was not flowing the way it should have so I had to use formula to make sure she was getting an adequate amount of nutrients.

Anyway, once things have calmed down a bit, and you realize you haven't straitened your hair in months, your nails are horrid, and you have more hair on your body than your boyfriend, you probably also realized in that same moment that going to the hair salon, nail shop or getting a full body wax is no longer in your budget. Which is completely understandable, especially if you are a single parent. BUT! That does NOT mean that you need to walk around looking a HOT MESS just because you're busy being a great mom!

Now that you've become accustomed to not sleeping, or getting less sleep, spare one of your mommy/baby naps, and let baby have this one solo. Take that time to wash, deep condition and style your hair however you feel makes you pretty. Great hair makes for an even better day! Also, once you finally get back into the groove of doing your hair, it will encourage you to do it more often, making it a part of your regular routine. Obvi, doing your own hair saves you at least a guilt free $40 a month.

Next we can attack those nails, depending on your budget, you can do this all at once, or bit by bit each month--buy nail polish, nail polish remover, cotton balls, q-tips, pedicure/manicure sets and anything else you think you may need to achieve a presentable mani/pedi. If you're used to getting your nails done by a professional it will definitely take a few practice runs of doing your nails on your own before you get good at it, BUT, in the end it's so worth it! Your mani/pedi kits will probably be the most expensive thing, but no more than 10 bucks and they will last quite a while. Your cotton balls, q-tips, remover, emery boards etc. can all be purchased and your local Target or Dollar Tree for about $1. As for your nail polish, each paycheck, go to Target, grab a couple different brands so that you know which brand you like best and then once you figure that out you can go buy a few colors each time you visit Target or each time you get paid..whichever fits your budget best. Again--this will have to sacrifice one of your nap times, but it is worth it.

About that body hair..buy NAIR! Works great and it doesn't smell bad like it did when it first hit the market lol. It's about $5 a bottle but that will last you a couple months and is way less expensive than getting waxed. I will say that you should spend the $10 to get your brows done professionally, though. No one takes a woman serious when her brows are bad...sorry.

Maintaining your sexy even after baby has arrived is important for you, in my opinion. It makes you feel like you haven't exactly lost yourself in all the chaos and it keeps your mans attention. A real man will find so much appeal in his woman who is not only being an amazing mom, but also keeping herself up. Feeling good on the inside is the most important of course, but feeling good on the outside will definitely help!

Mother's Day

Well it is only natural for me to dedicate a post to Mother's Day.

For those of you that still haven't figured it out, Mother's Day is May 11th this year. 

You know from a previous blog that I love the LA Parent Magazine and all of the Los Angeles events that it shares in its calendar section, so I thought I would share a few of the Mother's Day events they have in case you don't have any plans, can't think of any plans or just need to fill up your day a bit more. 

May 10, 2014

10a-5p in OC there will be a Mother's Day Celebration @ Pretend City Children's Museum. Mom and child can create puppets, enjoy yoga and read a story.  Admission is $12.50 for anyone over 1. 

May 11, 2014

1p-4p in Los Angeles there will be a Mother's Day of Earthly Delights @ Fowler Museum.  This event is inspired by the Earth Matters exhibit and will have activity stations from 1-3.  Moms can create their own perfume or get a massage. At 3pm Balandugu Kan will perfom West African music.  This event is FREE.

11a-1p in Los Angeles @ Hammer Museum a Mother's Day workshop will be held fro children 8-13 years old to make Monster themed Mother's Day cards.  This event is FREE.

9am @ American Girl Place at The Grove a Mother's Day Brunch will be held.  You MUST reserve your space for this event.  It is for ages 3+ and is $22 per person.  Contact American Girl Place to make your reservation.

11am AND 1pm @ the Huntington in San Gabriel Valley a Champagne Brunch will be held. Prices Vary for this event. 

10:30am-1pm @ the Aquarium of the Pacific in Long Beach you can enjoy brunch and visit the aquarium.  This event is $50 for adults and $40 for children.  I would call the Aquarium to find out what age they begin charging for children.  

If none of these events interest you, or you are not in the Los Angeles area, you still have tons of great options. 

If the Mother(s) you are celebrating need something practical for their lives, get that for them.  Don't forget to include roses, chocolate covered fruits etc. 

You can treat her to breakfast/lunch and then take the kids home while she goes and enjoys the Spa Package that you gave her while you were there.

Jewelry is ALWAYS nice!

Help your kids create something nice for her and present it to her during breakfast in bed.  FYI--you're cooking the breakfast AND cleaning the kitchen..so wake up before her.

What ever it is you decide to do for the Mother(s) you are celebrating, make sure you put some thought into it.  She (they) put thought into every single thing they have done for you, your children, or their children. Though you should celebrate family and let them know how appreciative you are of them EVERY SINGLE DAY, there are specific days like this set aside to go the extra mile.  SO GO THE EXTRA MILE!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, TO ALL OF YOU PHENOMENAL WOMEN THAT WE CALL "MOM". 

and a VERY special Happy Mother's Day to the woman I call Mom.  Thank you for all that you do for me, for always being my shoulder to cry on..even from 3000 miles away.  Thank you for being my rock...even from 3000 miles away.  Thank you for being my best friend.  I LOVE YOU! 

Time is RUNNING OUT!